Sunday, June 29, 2008
i know am ranting but rite now am trying so hard to not feel sorry for myself.
back in secondary school, i used to have a crush on this guy. ok there is mycrush, my friend's boyfriend(who am realli freinds with) and this third random guy who i dont realli talk to.
i have talked about this issue before in one of my posts..see here.
well am chatting wiv same friend again just a couple of minuites ago and he brings up the subject and he still talks about it like he belives something did actualli go down. am quiet and then he asks what has he done? nigga what havent u done!!! ..
am sick and tired of having to defend myself, whenever i do people call me defensive, and when i dont they go ahead believing, am sad cos this guy knows i dont like that part of my life, i made a mistake why cant i be allowed to forget it in peace!
i hate all references to it and i havent even been speaking to any of the guys involved because of the fact that i realli hate the issue.
i dont even know what to say, am just tired!
i just came here to get healing by typing whats in my heart... gudnyt!
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
well the rules she gave me are:
1. Put Your iTunes/ music player on Shuffle
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER WHAT!!!After you’ve answered all of the questions, tag 5 other people and then let them know they’ve been tagged to do the meme themselves.
IF SOMEONE SAYS “IS THIS OKAY” YOU SAY? sweet baby-macy gray.... U SAY SWEET, BABY!!! lol
WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY? work-kelly rowland..lol.. yeah am a wokahlic.. but not the type she's going on about in the song oo..lol
WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL ? spotlight-jenniferhudson..lol.. funny, thats the opposite of what i like in a guy.. dont like no fly guy all up on everyone's face!
HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY? cops up-lyfe jennings....for where??? no be me and this meme sha..
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE? i stay in love-mariah carey.. aww.. how cute!
WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU? beautiful nightmare-beyonce...HAHAHA.. recently i have been a night mare to themm.. oh yes.. i need to change..lol
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS? next to you-jordin sparks.. aww.. always wanna be next to them.. i miss them rite now..
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN? i'll be loving u long time-mariah carey.. na waoo.. where u dey now? make i begin love u long time..lol but true sha.. i keep dreaming of all my likely happily ever afters! **sigh**
WHAT IS 2+2? broken-digga..how heartbreak take concern 2+2 now?? how very random!
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND? gbono fe le-dbanj.. i dont know what that means sha! lol..
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE? dig this- brandy.. dig this now, guy! ure just slacking anyhow..LMAO
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY? my love-mario ft usher... ok is my whole life about love or what?? am too blessed!
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP? if-beyonce.. if? what do u mean if i grow up?? this meme shud take its time oo.. shoo ..
WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?a girl like u-joe ft jadakiss, actualli it shud be a guy like u..a guy like u shud be with a girl like me. pere!
WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU? daddy's little girl-frankie j... this is the cutest thing ever, this meme knows its shit.. it must have bribed someone to find out am actualli daddy's lil girl..
WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING ? wind am well-ikechuckwu..LMAO.. wind wetin well?? ahn!! u wan drive me out of husband house before i enter.. but i like that song oo..
WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL? the girl is mine-michael jackson.. ah! even for grave?? LOL
WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST? crying out for me-mario.. wetin concern agbero with over load? abeg next question..
WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET? priceless-joe.. awww yeah its truly priceless..
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS? heartbreaker-will.i.am.. abi dis thing dey see future? i hope not oo..
WHAT SHOULD YOU POST THIS AS? take a bow-rihannna.. well am surely taking a bow after finishing this cumbersome task bestowed on me by l'amour.
i hereby tag tairebabs, dammy,TY tha mos magnificent,laide etc etc cudnt find a fifth person, or rather was too chiken to tag the fifth person.. lol
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
nothing's been up wiv me this past couple of days, been quite laid back and chilled so i brought out my journal from 2007 and was reading it, very interesting stuff and i had even forgotten half of them, so i have decided to share it with u guys, well only some parts, others am still contemplating putting them up, they are quite deep and verreeeeeee personal, bear with me.
its gonna be serial thing, and when am done, u would know, meanwhile, enjoy!
05 may 2007
"after thinking it through a whole lot, i finally decided that i liked B! feels good and am not as shy as the first time*** but am still shy about wanting to hook up with him after telling him off the other time!
i also have problems with us hooking up like
- has he gone off me?
- does he like that bimbo? (yeah i actually wrote that.. tsk tsk)
- does he have a girlfriend elsewhere?
i need these questions answered before i consider any other thing but i wanna show him some sign say 'i like the koko'( again, i actually wrote that,, cant believe myself!).LOL. but what's he gonna think, like this gal rejected me before , now, she's back. doesn't say a lot of good about me now does it?
finally polo affair(a party that went down in march) is here, an up cant sleep no more, going out to get a polo top. hope i get a fine one and no one would think its not polo even if its not!LOL
had a dream with R(a guy i was tripping for 2006 summer) in it ad i was seriously kissing him! hmm na wa ooo.. all these my dreams nowadays are scary oo!
k called me today.
i have lots of projects to work on, God pls save my soul! finally lxg is on the 11Th of may, that would be great because i so want to wear my dress!i hope i look extremely good that day.oh God am lacking scopers oo! onli a handful which i don't like at all, hmmm!"
OK quick recap,
k- some masters guy who was on my case for a year hinting marriage, but i no do!
R-some dude i had a crush on in the summer of 2006, he crushed me too, but he had a girlfriend who is fiend when it comes to her man, didn't want no damage to my face, abeg make i manage am like that!
b-the guy who liked me at that time.
**he had asked me out the year before, i agreed to date him, only to break up with him a week later, reason? i had issues i had to resolve, REAL reason?? he was to mushy for my liking, and i hadnt been in a relationship prior to him, so u cud pardon my cold feet. (and i was 20 oo!)
second part, coming soon!
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Anyways he said something that got me thinking, he was like, "i believe in God but i think religion is overrated"(he used stronger words than that). why he asks? well he answers himself, cos people go around saying Jesus is the messenger, others say Muhammad is the messenger, but he doesn't care who the messenger was, the point is DID WE GET THE MESSAGE??
that was funny but when i sat down to think about it, i realised that we are so caught in the bug of determining who the so of God is, we don't see the bigger picture that all the prophets came to deliver to us.
anyways, yeah he is a comic, he's funny but i differ on one thing, religion isn't overrated(or his stronger word,) religion helps strengthen your faith in the Supreme BEING! the religious books gives you guidance and convinces you further that their is indeed a God, therefore, religion isn't f**ked up as he said( i finally say his stronger word!).
and that's my two cents.
Monday, June 9, 2008
thank you dear!
Sunday, June 8, 2008
today i had a talk with a friend. was concerned about the way she has been losing weight and all and she's no longer talkative, she has withdrawn into herself and i was quite worried as to what the cause was. i asked her if there was anything wrong with her and she said there was nothing i was now like why then is she losing so much weight and looking gaunt like she's being haunted.
she now started talking that something has been going on with her and she didn't know how to tell us because she doesn't know if we would judge her or not.
she went on to say that a friend of her's' boyfriend has been coming on to her for a couple of months and she recently succumbed to his pressures and they even made out.
i wasn't expecting that, it was a rather huge shock. he has been claiming(claiming cos i don't believe the guy one bit) that he is in love with her and would like to be with him, sleep over in his house and stuff.
he even goes as far as becoming jealous whenever she was on the fone with other guys and he would go around screaming and swearing at her. and he also flung on the floor one day for talking about another guy in front of him and she even injured herself. at this point, my jaw is literally on the floor.
what kind of guy does that?? even if he was totally and irrevocably in love with her (which i doubt), why would he have to get violent to show it. and he's not saying anything about breaking up with his girlfriend to be with her, he only ever wants her to make out with or sleep with him.
i advised her as best as i could to stay away from him and never go out alone to be with him if he comes visiting because that way he gets you alone and does whatever he wants with you.
am even at a loss as to what to do because there is so much you can do to a guy that has become a tyrant to everyone that knows him. he's a very violent person and everyone knows that and is scared of him so he just goes around doing what he wants and daring anyone to confront him.
had a chat with my bff from secondary school, she's going through emotional problems and its not of the best kind.
she's been dating this guy for over 2 years now and they plan on getting married. guy talks to his parents about her and his parents are threatening to disown him if he insists on marrying her. why? because she's nupe and he's yoruba!
have we gotten to that level where we are so pertinent about little issues like tribe?
he is from kwara and she is from kwara but because they are different tribes, its now a huge issue.
sometimes this makes wonder, and we hope to progress in Nigeria! what kind of progress do we expect if we still differentiate between ourselves and we do not let inter marriage!
am still so sad by her situation because she's the best person i have met in my life so far, she's so nice, so sweet, could never hurt anyone, has the best heart , even better than mine i must say!
am hoping that if the parents finally meet her and get to know her, they would accept her but she has lost hope about them ever coming around and she feels that if she marries him without his parents consent and comes into the family, she's not going to have an easy time of it, which i admit is true, am praying for her, may the will of God prevail here.
my friend, lady,(who's dating my ex refer to http://zara-myalterego.blogspot.com/2008/06/who-is-your-friend.html) called me today. she wanted to know how i was doing and all, i haven't had time to talk to her because i haven't seen her one and one in a while plus i don't want to set up a date to talk to her and make it look way bigger than it actually is, so am gonna wait till i meet with her while still giving her time to say it first.
on a lighter note, am getting thru with my exams on Thursday and the one i thought was going to be so difficult turned out to be the easiest so far, i have been in a joyous mood since then, i thank GOD! PEOPLE PLEASE TEACH ME HOW TO LINK.. AM TIRED OF BEING THE ONLY IGNORANT PERSON IN THE WHOLE OF BLOGSVILLE!
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
The moment is here.. never thought i would see a day when a black man would clinch the ticket to represent any American party in the race to the white house!
This is the day Martin Luther king wrote the 'i have a dream speech for' and 40 odd years later.. it finally dawns.
Yes! black man i said not just a man... why? well because no matter how much we try to shy away from the race issue.. it is what has defined this contest from the word go!
on BBC this morning the headlines was "making history".. they also recognise the fact that if indeed Barack Obama was a white man, it wouldn't make a difference, what would have made the difference was if Hillary Clinton had won.
So here i am now celebrating that a fellow black, has the legal right to stand for the most coveted post in all of America and beat his chest and proudly say "i did it".. of course along with his campaign people and all the Obama fans out there who helped in sourcing for funds online.. all the groups that were formed in support of this man.
the race now is half way over and in November we would know for sure if Obama is going to be the next person to which the world would regard as its new 'best friend'(President of the United states of America).
in my humble opinion, if Obama becomes the president, America stands to gain more than it would lose(not seeing any losses sha)
the American image would be revamped and become more acceptable to the people of the world.
i feel he is more diplomatic and hence many of these problems they have with other countries would be resolved civilly.
i especially like his policy regarding the middle east crisis, bring your friends close and your enemies even closer.. instead of antagonising and threatening Ahmedinejad, you can cut him some slack or embroil him in so much diplomacy.. he opts out himself.
one of the major problems that he is going to face in his race for the white is the fact that the powers that be in America don't feel he is pro Israel enough. what does that mean? he's probably too sympathetic to the Palestinian plight and probably wants a fast solution while they(powers that be) aren't done getting rich off of the weapons deal they make everyday in these wars.
In any case, Obama is still my candidate, any day, anytime, anywhere!'
God bless Barack Obama and the world!
Sunday, June 1, 2008
A year ago I used to date this boy, I take responsibility for the fact that even if I like to blame my friends a lot that their pressure pushed me to date him, I still liked him in my own way. Maybe on a normal good day, it wasn’t enough for me to date him but I still did. We broke up a month after, well in my mind we did but officially it was until three months later because I was home for the summer holidays and he was in school taking summer classes.
I though that was water under the bridge until when a close male friend of mine(who is also his friend) asked me if he(my ex ) was dating my friend( lets call her lady).
I answered in the negative because to the best of my knowledge they weren’t dating and I felt if either of them liked each other I would have known or the would have told me namely lady would have told me because she is my friend.
Well turns out… it is true! They are indeed dating each other!
Am happy for them truly I am but it turns out again that another of my friend who isn’t in the same place as us knows but she didn’t want to let me know because she didn’t know what my reaction would be like. That has me thinking, why would I react another way, I mean that’s why he’s ex, no longer in my life… no more feelings… but I think they were thinking to the contrary.
Well as the story goes, lady didn’t tell me about them, my ex didn’t either (even though we are quite friendly with each other and he tells me about other girls).
Then this got me thinking that maybe what they did, in their eyes, its wrong?
Am not too sure what is wrong or right here because in my honest opinion, I don’t care who he goes out with, but my other friends are telling me its wrong for her to go out with him, like its an unspoken rule for girls, never date your friend’s exs’ or crushes.
I don’t really mind but the fact that they have gone to such lengths to hide it from me is beginning to make alarm bells go off in my head and lately lady hasn’t been hanging out with me. Never a day went by where she didn’t come to my room or call me. Now, I hardly even get her on the phone when I call her, I have called her twice to come visit her and she always tells me she’s away and insist she would come see me instead. Well now that I know she was indeed hiding something.
And my ex, well lately too… he’s been kind of cold towards me… just even barely being civil to each other... I didn’t want to make too a big deal about it but now that I know this, should I?
Everyone tells me to act like I don’t know until they tell me themselves... but is that the right thing to do? Do I even have the right to expect them to tell me anything considering that they owe me no explanations or do they?
Am quite confused and don’t want to act in a manner that would jeopardize my relationship with either of them, am quite clear in my feelings regarding both of them…
My ex: I couldn’t be bothered really. I wish him the best.
For my friend: am kind of disappointed she didn’t tell me because she confides in me about other stuff… so it’s this hidey attitude the have about it that has got me questioning…
WHAT DO I DO?