Sunday, June 8, 2008

what in the name of all that good is this?

hmmm.... things are happening. not all in my life.. but also in my friends' lives and i feel swamped by it all. above all.. i have my exams to study for.

today i had a talk with a friend. was concerned about the way she has been losing weight and all and she's no longer talkative, she has withdrawn into herself and i was quite worried as to what the cause was. i asked her if there was anything wrong with her and she said there was nothing i was now like why then is she losing so much weight and looking gaunt like she's being haunted.
she now started talking that something has been going on with her and she didn't know how to tell us because she doesn't know if we would judge her or not.
she went on to say that a friend of her's' boyfriend has been coming on to her for a couple of months and she recently succumbed to his pressures and they even made out.

i wasn't expecting that, it was a rather huge shock. he has been claiming(claiming cos i don't believe the guy one bit) that he is in love with her and would like to be with him, sleep over in his house and stuff.
he even goes as far as becoming jealous whenever she was on the fone with other guys and he would go around screaming and swearing at her. and he also flung on the floor one day for talking about another guy in front of him and she even injured herself. at this point, my jaw is literally on the floor.
what kind of guy does that?? even if he was totally and irrevocably in love with her (which i doubt), why would he have to get violent to show it. and he's not saying anything about breaking up with his girlfriend to be with her, he only ever wants her to make out with or sleep with him.
i advised her as best as i could to stay away from him and never go out alone to be with him if he comes visiting because that way he gets you alone and does whatever he wants with you.
am even at a loss as to what to do because there is so much you can do to a guy that has become a tyrant to everyone that knows him. he's a very violent person and everyone knows that and is scared of him so he just goes around doing what he wants and daring anyone to confront him.

had a chat with my bff from secondary school, she's going through emotional problems and its not of the best kind.
she's been dating this guy for over 2 years now and they plan on getting married. guy talks to his parents about her and his parents are threatening to disown him if he insists on marrying her. why? because she's nupe and he's yoruba!
have we gotten to that level where we are so pertinent about little issues like tribe?
he is from kwara and she is from kwara but because they are different tribes, its now a huge issue.
sometimes this makes wonder, and we hope to progress in Nigeria! what kind of progress do we expect if we still differentiate between ourselves and we do not let inter marriage!

am still so sad by her situation because she's the best person i have met in my life so far, she's so nice, so sweet, could never hurt anyone, has the best heart , even better than mine i must say!
am hoping that if the parents finally meet her and get to know her, they would accept her but she has lost hope about them ever coming around and she feels that if she marries him without his parents consent and comes into the family, she's not going to have an easy time of it, which i admit is true, am praying for her, may the will of God prevail here.

my friend, lady,(who's dating my ex refer to called me today. she wanted to know how i was doing and all, i haven't had time to talk to her because i haven't seen her one and one in a while plus i don't want to set up a date to talk to her and make it look way bigger than it actually is, so am gonna wait till i meet with her while still giving her time to say it first.

on a lighter note, am getting thru with my exams on Thursday and the one i thought was going to be so difficult turned out to be the easiest so far, i have been in a joyous mood since then, i thank GOD! PEOPLE PLEASE TEACH ME HOW TO LINK.. AM TIRED OF BEING THE ONLY IGNORANT PERSON IN THE WHOLE OF BLOGSVILLE!


Afrobabe said...

Lol…Yeah problems every where, even I have had my fair share this month…

To link…highlight what you want to link, then click the chain sign in the font secton and paste the url on the box that pops up…

zara (my alter ego) said...

oh thanx ure a saviour!!!

anonymous gal said...

why do women love shitty men.

Dammy said...

I just think Ladies should learn to know more about that 'special' person before they finally give in to his love overtures!
shit happens though!
How're u?

ibiluv said...

issues here
this soon shall pass for them all

but as i always say
with every decision
try to please urself
cos u are the only one who will leave with the outcome...............

zara (my alter ego) said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
zara (my alter ego) said...

@anonymous gal.. i dont know!! i wonder myself..
@dammy.. am doin fine..:)
@ibiluv..exactly.. thats the principle i try to live by too.. dont do something that at the end of the day.. u disgust ur ownself!

Tairebabs said...

Wow so many issues here:

Your friend that is hanging with the violent man should withdraw now. Nothing good can come out of a violent man. As my friend "L" would say, difficult as it may be, she should put her emotions in a box and pull out MR LOGIC.

Tribe: I really hate it when I hear such things as parents refusing to accept a girl because of her tribe. It is so low and barbaric. The most annoying part of it all is the calibre of people that say these won't believe how educated they usually are. I find it embarrassing.

zara (my alter ego) said...

@ taire babs.. EXACTLY! u took the words rite out of my mouth!