Wednesday, March 11, 2009

MY life as i know it.

i was going to come here and type up another post, when i suddenly lost the zeal. i havent put up a post in a week and i feel so behind.

i havent been here too long, just over year, but i have made wonderful aquaintances and been exposed to a whole new different world and am gratefull for that.

letting go was born at a time when i needed to air issues i ws going through. i started this blog as a way of talking about things that i couldnt speak of verbally.

i might not have put my issues totally out there but trying to talk about them, still helped me a lot.
even when i was coy, and i still got responses, it gave me hope and for that am thankful to all of you here in blosgville.

now is the time to take a bow and leave when the ovation is loudest(20 COMMMENTS LOL)
my life as i know it has ended a new one is beginning. in this pause, i have nothing to blog about so i take my leave instead of not updating.

i might come back but as a different person, not as 'zara' anymore.
thank U for accepting zara into ur fold and for bidding her farewell with love and all the good things of life because i know you wish me nothing more than good health and fulfillment.

au revoir c'est n'est pas adieu, see you later my friends.


Friday, February 27, 2009


HURRRAYYY!! Am the happiest person i know today.

I am a graduate! full fledged! The ceremony is in a few hours and am blogging right before i start getting ready, see how much i love blogsville? lol

I never thought this day would come, well not that i didnt, but not this fast. When ure at a certain stage in your life, you keep thinking something is far from you and its going to Take forever to get there, but i guess my own my own forever just became now.

I am excited not cos am graduating but also because i graduate with a high honours degree. YES I SAID IT! IN BLOGSVILLE, I SAID IT! lol!

My parents are also here for the grad so i guess its almost like a double celebration cos i never thought they would make it since my muM has this huge fear of flying(dont know the phobia name)but she braced herself and still came.. life just became even more beautiful!

ok i was feeling kind of bad yesterday because i wanted to win the award for the best student in the department(which only goes to the first best), i worked hard, played less, read more, but i didnt quite cut it, i came tantalizingly close, but someone else beat me to it. i was quite sad then i talked to my parents and i felt better cos they were proud of me no matter what.

And then am on my facebook and my horoscope for the day says(dont know if you guys believe in horoscopes but i kinda like to read them and see if they relate, this one so does!):
"Capricorn: Hard work doesn't always pay off in the way you'd like, but you can still be proud you did it!"

what more can i say...


Saturday, February 21, 2009


LAST week was a Friday the 13Th.
Usually people get all hot and bothered(am assuming lol) when a 'Friday 13Th' rolls around.

I have been hearing the folklore/urban legend/myth for a while now but i didn't know what to make of it, considering nothing spectacular nor bad has ever happened to me on that date.

Ever heard of the Knights Templar?
Ever read the da vinci code? angels and demons?(they were prominent features in both books)

Apparently in the history of the catholic church, the Knights Templar were established to protect the church and they were given the Rule. They were basically like the military backbone of the roman catholic church and they fought during crusades.

Where is all this leading? I am trying to explain the origin of the Friday 13Th date as a bad omen/bad luck day.

During one of their crusades, the knights Templar lost out to the Saracens("After the rise of Islam, and especially at the time of the Crusades, its usage was extended to refer to all Muslims, including non-Arab Muslims, particularly those in Sicily and southern Italy.[2]

In Christian writing, the name was made to mean "those empty of Sarah" or "not from Sarah," as Arabs were, in Biblical genealogies, descended from Hagar"

These Saracens then offered 200 of the knights their lives back if they would abandon Christ and join Islam, but they all chose to kneel before the Muslims and have their head cut off instead.**

This occurred on FRIDAY 13TH, OCTOBER 1307. And till this day, Friday 13Th has continued to be regarded as bad luck, a day which portends evil.

Interesting little history right? I think so though.
Do i believe in the knight Templar? I don't know what to think but i kind of do.. to an extent.
Some historians want us to think they still exist, though in secrecy(they always existed in secrecy even in the middle ages when they were.)
I don't know, maybe if i ever did my own research, i just might find

** I mean no harm by that statement, i know in today's world, we have to be politically correct and all, but i just quoted that directly from a source and i couldn't change the wordings for fear of altering the author's original work.
*** I am a Muslim myself and hence wouldn't want to be looked upon in a certain way but i still have to stick with the facts don't I?
****Thank you.


Sunday, February 15, 2009

The valentine that was.

Contrary to my believe that my valentine wud be spent under covers with my novel and music playing in the background, it didnt quite happen like that.

surprise of all surprises, i got val-ed(is there a word like that??) lol
well anyways sha, this guy that has been acting all cosy around me lately val-ed me and told me that he truly, deeply, madly(am just exaggerating) likes me and would want to date me.

ha! this my own valentine na waoo!
it was quite out of the blue sha cos i wasnt expecting it, well not really i wasnt or maybe i chose to not acknowledge it cos i felt he knew am leaving finally in a few weeks and long distance is not an option so why want to date me?? really??

anyways i told him all my reasons for not wanting to date him and i think he got quite moody cos he left shortly after, well he'll get over it, not much i can do unless lead him on which is out of the question, sooo....

That's how my almost uneventful valentine still makes me laugh when i see his chocolates.. lol.. wen i saw them, i just remembered vera's post where she said she dint want to receive a box of chocolates and i totally agreed on how much i didnt like them, only for me to get funny!

I need to know, what's up with guys NOT wanting to date a girl, or considering her below his 'level' but not MINDING having something to do with her?? huh?? whats up with that??

Friday, February 13, 2009

These past few days...

hey guys!

I have been away for a while(short) trying to deal with the circus that was my life.. but thanks to ur good advices i have everything under control again and am ever so grateful. before my last post i was totallly confused, i wasnt sure what to do, so i had to put it out there and you all adviced me to put it out there, to talk to my friend, well i did and wow! if we all get such understanding, i guess the world wud be a better place to live in .. here is the email she sent me after the talk..
thank you so much for all uve done to me...and are still doin i really appreciate it..and i am sooo glad to have u as a frnd..and like ive said before i can proudly call you my best matter matter when..nothin can change the fact that i really do cherish u( and love u with all my heart...yeh yeah i knw am being all mushy now)

but its shame is showin u off and tellin alll them motherfuckers outta there ure MY BEST FRIEND.

u understand me, ur smart and offer advice, help wenevr i lean on u(which is almost alws)
and i wwant u to do anythin for u, and i mean anythn...dont care wat ppl say...i wud do it!

cuz u deserve evrybit of watevr it is i can thnk you so much...

lots of luv...xx

I made myself incommunicado to him like u all suggested and i think he's getting that u dont date one friend and try to date the other when ure done with one.

Since i have not been here.. i have gone through a few changes in my life... i became unemployed.. that means i GRADUATED!
My friends are bored already hearing this from me, but i cant help it, am finally done with compulsory school, any that i do now is cos i want to! that feels just good!

Rihanna, Chris Brown, am in love with chris brown so am sure that says it all how i feel about the whole affair, it wasnt him(in the words of shaggy) lol...

Did yar'mama realli stop blogging or is she on hiatus??

Afrobabe loves to facebook more than blog nowadays, u better come back! lol

well lovely people of blogsville, the world's most famous holiday is tomorrow.. how do u plan on spending urs? mine would be spent lying under my covers reading a good novel and thinking about what could be..hehe.. have a lovely valentine's day celebration! am looking forward to all the blog posts i would read from gettin my popcorn ready cos it wud be like being at the movies for!

Wednesday, February 4, 2009


hi people!

how are u guys doing?

u guys sure are very good guessers..? lol(not sure if that's a proper word.)

well congrats to temite, buttercup, solly(solomonsydelle), vera ezimora(birthday mate!), bumight and enkay. u guessed correctly, and true to form the guys truly couldnt believe that i had my first kiss at 22, i had to be,!

ok enough of that,
am not a very happy person today. contrary to what my blog seems to signify, i am always happy but life gets to me sometimes and it has today.

my best friend's ex, who she isnt over, and wants back, says he has feelings for me. how much more complicated can life be?

i dont know if to tell her or i should just hope it goes away. i have told the guy nothing can happen between us, to him the fact that he dated my best friend doesnt matter one bit, and to me thats the whole of it. plus he doesnt know she still pines after him, and i dont know if i should hint at it to him just so he knows that its even more complicated than he thinks.

things are so crappy at the moment and i feel caught in between two of them.
just yesterday, i was chatting to both of them at the same time, in one chat box, he is telling me how he likes me and in the other, she is telling me, how she finds it hard to fancy other guys cos she's not over him, do you all see my dilemma?

please i need answers.. what can i do to make this go away fast, can i tell her what he's doing?
should i tell him she still likes me?
even all our friends do not know and i dont know if to tell them or not.

truth of the matter is, i DO NOT fancy him at all, apart from all the complications ma, how do i tell him that without a misunderstanding/us stop being friends?

help is needed, FAST!

Friday, January 30, 2009

truths and lies!

thanks to all those who commented on my last post, u realli gave me good advices and solomonsydelle raised a very important question that go me thinking. well the answer, solly(new short name hehe) is, i guess the friendship isnt at the point where i feel totally comfortable telling them everything(we have known eachother for about 1 year) and am not a very open person, so saying things like that is kind of hard for me. and yes all is well! thank you so much! i totally appreciate all of you guys!

well to the news of today, abi tag of today, got tagged by abujamaiden to do the 2 truths one lie thing.
here goes
1)I had my first kiss at 22.

2)this is my first and only blog

3)I love blog surfing.

most of you might not know me well enough to guess the answers to this but its just a guessing game after all, so guess away and the winner gets...... ask me a very personal question which i would do my best to answer.

alright start guessing.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Am I a bad person?

I have been having this discussion with my self for a while now and I still haven’t come to any conclusions. I am torn.

The thing is right, some certain people come to talk to me about my friends, about their bad character and how something they did annoyed them. And I try to tell them they aren’t like that and it was a one off and blah blah, but by their countenance I know they don’t believe me and just think that am trying to stick up for my friends. My dilemma here then is am I supposed to tell my friends these things or am I supposed to keep it to myself?

I usually say nothing and this eats me up inside because am not sure if am supposed to actually keep quiet. Am sure these people expect that I tell them but I think if I do indeed tell them, wouldn’t that be causing unnecessary fracas/bad blood? Also wouldn’t they(my friends) think I had said something to egg them on because how else would they be so comfortable knowing am friends with them to keep telling me these things??

It’s a dilemma that greatly troubles me.

AM about to write my final exams as an undergraduate, wish me luck!

Monday, January 19, 2009

This saddens ME.

I was going through a newly discovered blog and reading up on its old post wen I saw a video talking about breast ironing.
This is a very old practice in Cameroon where a young girl's breasts are ironed at a tender age sometimes as early as 9 so that they become unattractive to men hence she doesn't become promiscuous and probably become a teenage mother!. word??!!

It didn't make sense to me and i went searching for literature about it, and apparently, its a very common practice in Cameroon where over 4 million of the female population have ironed breasts.
This ironing starts the moment their breasts begin to bud. their mothers take little flat and smooth stones, pestles,wooden spoons, basically anything that can convey and retain heat. this item is heated and then held against the young girls breast pressing it in a downward motion in the process destroying the ligature of the breasts and slackening the skin around it. this is done everyday for a period of about 2 months by which time the breasts would have unnaturally fallen and would most definitely have burn marks around it.

These girls grow up with a sense of insecurity and inferiority as they cannot undress in public.
I ask myself, why do these things happen and continue to happen? we say its to prevent promiscuity, whatever happened to sexual education? doesn't it take two anymore? why are the boys/men being exonerated?
Why is it that in the year 2009, we still talk about issues like this, first female genital mutilation, now breast ironing. next maybe we would be slashing off their noses and plucking out their eyes just so men aren't attracted and it doesn't cause em to have sex!

All this i feel is because the women, in an African society,have always been the underdog and still it continues, albeit in small ways in some places. baby steps, baby steps. because they are not on the same plane as men, they are blamed for everything. how else would you have me explain a culture that flattens a young girl's breasts so she doesn't attract men! why cant the men be told to keep off the young ones instead and wait till they become consenting adults?!

our government.. sigh sigh!
the president.. sigh! sigh! sigh!
apparently the president's daughter is getting married to the bauchi state Governor as his.. wait for it.. 4Th wife! that's not the end, she's 24 while he's.... wait for it....47!
I got some mad statistics about the wedding today.
the dowry was paid in dollars, even though i don't believe the figure, i would still state it here for shock purposes, $250,000.

her wedding dress was being sewn for,(i don't believe this either.. )$60,000
about 80 boxes were taken to her parents.
a trailer load of cows were sent to her grandmother.

OK...... where is all this money coming from.. last time i checked... no one in Nigeria was earning in dollars....

what annoys me the most?? the economy is going down and no one seems to care about it, everyone seems to just be trying to gather as much as they can for themselves! disgusting!

this is quite reminiscent about the abacha days....

Thursday, January 15, 2009

its my birthday and could cry if i want to!!

i actually had a post all written up, ready to be typed and posted here, but preceding events cant let me put it up here no more. am so happy today! a birthday is the day for the celebrant to feel joyful, fulfilled and loved and i totally feel all that and more here today! i feel so happy i could go around giving anyone who demanded one, a kiss! yes! that's how happy i am

today is my birthday! 22 years ago, at 8:00am on the 14Th of January 1987, a baby gal was born to the family of..... and that baby gal was named.,! i was born on a Wednesday, and today, my 22ND birthday,a Wednesday again, makes it extra special for me.

i woke up today with a good feeling, afterall its my birthday!since 12:00am my friends had been calling me and wishing me a very wonderful day! text messages from family and friends too!
and the most coveted, facebook messages and wall posts! yes! i had a record 99 wall posts in one day! amazing stuff!

i had to go to school though, i had two quizzes and i thank the lord they were quite easy. came back to my room and my friends(2 guys) come over, they wish me a happy birthday, we talk for a while then they leave. only to come back with a cake, chocolate and other goodies. i was shocked! i wasnt expecting it at all. we cut the cake, take pictures etc etc. a little while later, another group of friends call me up telling me to dress up and that they want to take me and my friends out. we dress up and are waiting while yet 2 other friends drop by to see me for my birthday bearing gifts! the gifts left melost for words and i was almost tearing. one of the gift is my facebook profile picture! hehe....

i went out for my surprise dinner at this new Chinese restaurant,it was only us there and we have so much fun!!!!

i had a lovely wonderful time and my friends are the most awesomest people!!!!(i dont care for english right about now!) i love them! love them! love them! since i cudnt get cake to you guys personally in blogsville, you shall partake of this heavenly cyber feast until i can give u the real thing.

happy birthday to me and many more fruitful years!.
greatest gift of all, i graduate in a month's time! God is faithful!

Saturday, January 3, 2009

back and refreshed!! its a new year! keeps getting better!

It’s a new year... wishing u a happy new year would be a bit cliché and belated but I still would. HAPPY NEW YEAR PEOPLE!

Hope you all had a fun and blessed holiday. Mine was great. My trip? AWESOME. I needed the time away and my sister’s wedding was great. Thought I would shed a few, but at the end of the day, I was too tired all I could think of was sleep!

Thanks to all who dropped a comment on my last post, believe me at that point in my life, I felt that all was lost and I had come to the end of the road, but now am a much better and braver person. I forgave myself and that’s it. Am happier and nothing daunts me anymore. Thanks again for all the support.

Chari… thanx for Ur msg meant a lot.

The wedding…. Dreamy. The most beautiful aspect?? The gown..

Lovely don’t u think?

It’s a new year; most people have resolutions, am done doing those cos I never stick to them anyways. I just hope to be a better person; I always strive to get to that next level of good.

And also, since my sis is now married, am the next in line and my mum thinks by 2010 I shud be married! Wishful thinking I call it, but just so its out there and its not like I didn’t make an effort, guys shud start sending in applications, seeing as I have not a bf and all the ones in my last 2 posts,here, I have decided to leave em be, I don’t do drama!..Well, not anymore! Hehee