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Wednesday, February 4, 2009

DILEMMA

hi people!

how are u guys doing?


u guys sure are very good guessers..? lol(not sure if that's a proper word.)

well congrats to temite, buttercup, solly(solomonsydelle), vera ezimora(birthday mate!), bumight and enkay. u guessed correctly, and true to form the guys truly couldnt believe that i had my first kiss at 22, i had to be lying..lol..aloofar, dammy..lol!

ok enough of that,
am not a very happy person today. contrary to what my blog seems to signify, i am always happy but life gets to me sometimes and it has today.

my best friend's ex, who she isnt over, and wants back, says he has feelings for me. how much more complicated can life be?

i dont know if to tell her or i should just hope it goes away. i have told the guy nothing can happen between us, to him the fact that he dated my best friend doesnt matter one bit, and to me thats the whole of it. plus he doesnt know she still pines after him, and i dont know if i should hint at it to him just so he knows that its even more complicated than he thinks.

things are so crappy at the moment and i feel caught in between two of them.
just yesterday, i was chatting to both of them at the same time, in one chat box, he is telling me how he likes me and in the other, she is telling me, how she finds it hard to fancy other guys cos she's not over him, do you all see my dilemma?

please i need answers.. what can i do to make this go away fast, can i tell her what he's doing?
should i tell him she still likes me?
even all our friends do not know and i dont know if to tell them or not.

truth of the matter is, i DO NOT fancy him at all, apart from all the complications ma, how do i tell him that without a misunderstanding/us stop being friends?

help is needed, FAST!

11 comments:

AlooFar said...

In other words, I'm a liar?!

~Sirius~ said...

You can start my telling him it's against the female secret code. that's 1.
2. Minimize contact with him.........i.e stop chatting, for as long as you give him a listening ear, he's going to keep hounding you.

zara (my alter ego) said...

@aloofar.. i only said.. u stuck true to ur kind..lol
@sirius.. yeah i am beginning to do that.. i already tols him #1 but he says its just walls which we choose to erect which are not supposed to be..

Temite said...

Please just tell him straight men. He would the EXACT same thing to you and not give a damn about your feelings.

Temite said...

thats how men are. I dont j=know why we constantly worry about their feelings. If you are the one who dated his best friend and likes him and he knows his dude, his fist dog, still likes you. He would tell you straight UP. Period.

Funms-the rebirth said...

the best thing to do is cut him off.... he knows u guys r best friends so thats just wrong.... about telling ur friend, im not sure of her reaction so u have to be careful...

Dammy said...

To call an elderly man a liar in public is a taboo!

Zara, you have to appease the gods with 2 white cows and a...LOL!

Can't believe I guessed wrong.


Dilemma? This is simple, just tell him things the way they are.There are no two ways about it. It's not like the feeling is mutual. Let him know you don't have such feelings for him and your friend wants him BACK.

As a matter of fact, your silence may be misconstrued and this might pose a lot more danger.

You can do it.

SOLOMONSYDELLE said...

woo hoo! I guessed right.

Now onto your dilemma.

Tell him you don't think it is a good idea because your friend cared for him greatly and then suggest that he even talk to your friend and not you, given all they shared in the past.

Then, don't take his calls, do not respond to emails - absolute radio silence. Do not tell your girlfriend the details but hint to her that the guy likes someone else and that she needs to move on. If she doesn't believe you, get a friend you both have in common to be with you when you eventually break the news to her. Only break the news to her if, she tries to do something stupid out of 'love/like/lust' for the guy cos clearly, he doesn't deserve those feelings from her.

Does this make any sense? If not, shoot me an email (contact form is on my nigeriancuriosity.com page).

Don't over stress this. This is an easy problem, believe me.

Afrobabe said...

You need to firmly put him in his place...stop saying it nicely....tell him its incest as far as u r concerned...you wouldn't want to loose ur bestie over a man that might not even be worth it in the first place..

If he thinks he is serious enough then tell him to go tell her so she can give her blessings...I dont see that happening, do u?

Buttercup said...

yay!!!! im goooooooooood..woohoo!

im with ~sirius~ on this..

i feel u shud let her know, just in case word gets out..u dont want her hearing from another source..

OluwaDee said...

Just tell him you cant date him, & tone down communication.
Focus on helping your friend get over him.