CHANGE OF ADDRESS

i figured that my address was probably too cumbersome by half to type and i easily got it wrong sometime so i decided to change the address of my blog .
its now zara-myalterego.blogspot.com. i hope this lets more people access my blog. and to those who already do i hope it doesnt hinder you from coming often. cheers and have a great weekend.

what do u do?

What do u do if

• ur dad had an affair in some other country, a one night stand which produces a child, do u accept the child or do u strive to not acknowledge its existence?
• the child is now a grown woman with kids of her own and she searches out her father? do accept her as ur sibling knowing this was adultery committed by your father since the lady is younger than any of u?
• what if ur dad is dad and all u have left of him are memories, wud u still accept the child?

these are things that happen everyday, it actualli happened to someone close to me and its amazing the level of tolerance people have. it got me thinking wat if it happens to us.. how wud i react? i still havent gotten that answer

what do u do if

• a guy u thot liked ur frend turns around and says its u he likes?
• if u and ur friend have always fantasized about that guy asking her out?
• if u fancy the guy rite back but cant tell ur friend that because u feel like u sold out?
• the guy never realli liked ur friend and it was alwyas u..(he swears it)!?

this also happened to a friend of mine.. its amazing how things can get so complicated in a heart beat, one day we think he's in love with one person, the next day, he says its another he's in love with and he never loved the first person. how did we miss the signs.(sixth sense gals have it in abundance.. but i guess in this case it deserted us cos we didnt see this coming).. does the other friend just give it a go with the guy and not be fazed or does she consider her friend's feelings(eventough she says its aitte) and let go?

what do u do if

• as a child u were kinda molested?(i say kinda because it happened so fast i didnt know wat it was until a few years later)
• u can never tell anyone because u feel u have left it too late and if u tell now its like u probably have other stories u havent told and u suddenly become the person with the big secrets
• u now have feelings and thots of sex almost frequently(although still a virgin) and u feel its probably as a result of that incident from way back?

this.. happened to me. i was a child of 10 and i was asked to go get baygon from across the street at around 7. when i was almost at home, this guy that was walking at me kept on straight, i tried to swerve away but he kept on coming on my path. he suddenly bumps into me and in the process touches my private place throuh my clothes. he then runs away and am left shaken.

i run home but i cant get it out of my mind. i feel sullied.. was it my fault? was i violated? was that sexual harrasment?(thats why i called it "kinda") well, 11 years later, i still think about it, sometimes i wonder why i didnt just kick his balls!

TUNDE

I met him a coupla years ago wen i was 16.
He was an nda student then and i guess he was probably 18 or 20.
I met him thru his frend moses in my mother's shop.
Moses was trying to ask me out or rather I knew he liked me but didnt give him the time of day but Tunde on the other hand was just freindly from the onset and didnt even hint at anything between us.
Ienjoyed his company and he was a very funny person. by the time he asked me out I had began to fall for him.

I cudnt be with him because I was still quite young in ss3 then and my mom wudnt even stand for that. I had to tell him in a subtle way.
He didnt get me or he didnt want to. He insisted that if I wanted to be with him we cud work it out.

I was out one day talking wiv him trying to convince him to just let go let flow when I heard my name being called, it was my dad! It was 11 0 clock at night.I was in trouble.
I quickly walked away towards my dad and he asked
' What were u still doin out and with whom?"
" He was looking for change and I told him I didnt have"-that was me. wat change? out of the blues? am a trader? am such a stupid liar! lol. I was totally shaking thinking he would just slap me or something but i should have known better that my dad would never raise a finger to any of us only my mum would( I still love u mum).

He said" Zara dont lie to me, I saw you, go into my room"
I went into his room and he sits me down to advise me about the ills of boys and all that and when it was my time nobody would monitor me. and he told me he wouldnt tell my mom. such relief!
"thank you daddy" Isay and alk away.

the next day i see Tunde but i refuse to talk to him he tries to apologise for keeping me out and getting me into trouble i refused to listen, he walks away and that was the last i ever saw of him, or any of them, including his friends.
I dont know if they ever graduated from nda, if they did they probably are officers now or lieutenant colonels or something i dont know.

but sometimes I wonder what it would be like to see them again.