Sunday, August 17, 2008

who listens to the listener?

I am at this very rare point in my life where all i want is for someone to just listen to me while i talk and talk non stop. not necesarily making sense but just getting my thoughts out in the open.

I am a strong individual, independent too but sometimes i dont want to be independent nor strong anymore, i just want to be dependent on someone, have some one cater to my needs, be able to cry, feel pampered and cared for.

why is that no one is willing to do that. i happen to be a recipient for all my close friends' and not so close freinds' woes but no one but my head and heart is a recipient of mine.

not that no one wants to listen to me, but when i want to start talking bout mine, they start talking bout theirs and demand my opinion and i am forced to shelve my problems and be totally interested in theirs and give answers and advices and genrally make them happy again while i wallow in my own misery and it probably would never see the light of day or get some form of absolvement.

woke up on the wrong side of the bed today, feeling all these feelings i cant even begin to describe, dont want to be with my boyfriend no more, suddenly discovered that i cant seem to see him as more than a friend and all that i blogged about before was just intial gra gra, and i dont know what to do, cos the guy seems to be falling even more everyday.

i dont want to go to the u.k anymore, i just want to go to naija and never come back. i just want to go home.
i dont want to listen to anyone anymore cos i have my own problems also and i need someone to listen to me.
talking to my brother on msn but he's too busy to even reply me and am all choked up with tears cos am feeling mighty emotional today. and am not helping matters cos i keep listening to all these sad slow songs and am sllowly tearing up.
maybe i shud just have a good cry and i would probably wake up tomorrow feeling much better.

i am 21 but at this moment, all i can say is I WANT MY DADDY!


TY Tha Mos Magnificent said...

i lyk totally understand u. Sumdayz i wake up wiv nasty mood swings and not knowing why. The funny hing bout my friends also is that they brush my own ish but somehow i shoulder theirs

TY Tha Mos Magnificent said...

P.S i was 1st now that's a first- mind

zara (my alter ego) said...

hmmm.. at least i have a kindred spirit.

Sienne said...


i understand all u dey write oo

life just be like dis smtyms

Aphrodite said...

Oh dear,i wish i could say-call me up and pour out ur heart to me but then am anonymous and u are too.

Take it easy darling. Read the bible and pray more, it will all fall into place.

U want to come back to Naija? I thot you were in naija already, Abouja or somefin?


zara (my alter ego) said...

@sienne.. thanxx for stopping by.. and i thot i was alone with my thots..
@ aphrodite.. thanx dear yeah wudnt it be awesome if someone wud just hear me out.. no not in naija i school outside the country..

Chari said...

I was wondering where u disappeared far now?

Me I fit listen to this listener o...holla @ ur boi u know how...

zara (my alter ego) said...

chari charii.. wen last have u been anywhere around my vicinity.. hehn???.. i missed u oo.. small.. and go and update joo!

Afrobabe said...

Awwww take it easy love…it will be well…Though the sorrow may last for a nite, his joy comes in the morninggggggggggggggggg…love that song…hold on to it…

OluwaDee said...

Can I suggest that you say a prayer asking God for a friend you can talk to. Pour your heart out to him.

He says, "cast all you anxiety upon me, 4 I care about what happens 2 you"

Your friends are humans, and sometimes humans put themselves b4 others. So you always have 2 rely on God.

Also try saying to them, I am not feeling 2 good, n I need to share something with you. Cos really they may not know if you don't spill it out bluntly.

OluwaDee said...

And yeah now is not the time 2 listen to sad songs. You need something to lift your spirit.

Buttercup said...

awwwww...i guess we all have our moments...its sad that some friends dont know how to act friends..

about ur boyfriend..i think u shud just tell him how u feel so he doesnt fall any deeper..

take care!

Rita said...

If you are the kind everyone always pours their heart out to, it will be so difficult for those same people to be your shoulder to cry on. Because they see you as strong and don't want to believe you are human.

You might need someone different... either someone who knows the softer side of you or someone who doesn't know the macho part of you.

Please pour your heart out on God. HE is always ready to listen.

Can I offer to be a listener too?

zara (my alter ego) said...

aww rita thanx.. yeah i guess they see me as strong.. cos i get lots of people wanting me to be their shoulder to cry on..

MissLove said...

Was just readin this and I totally get it...Its gud to know God cares...xoxo Solo

But I Care said...

Awww... you are one of a kind!

There is the saying that "when life knocks you down to your knees, you are in the best position to pray"

wish you all the best!xoxo