I was watching the Haiti telethon live yesterday and it occurred to me that I hadnt done anything to help my fellow humans in Haiti. I had only commiserated with them and what does that get them?
Definately not much needed medical supplies, so I got up today,Packed all my old books and coppers and marched to OXFAM,and I made my own donation towards saving a child in Haiti.
You too can do the same.
Help a child today.
go to www.hopeforhaiti.com and make a donation
Youre guaranteed to feel tons lighter because you just saved a life.
Thats my official welcome back blog, i have missed blogging.
Hello people!
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
MY life as i know it.
i was going to come here and type up another post, when i suddenly lost the zeal. i havent put up a post in a week and i feel so behind.
i havent been here too long, just over year, but i have made wonderful aquaintances and been exposed to a whole new different world and am gratefull for that.
letting go was born at a time when i needed to air issues i ws going through. i started this blog as a way of talking about things that i couldnt speak of verbally.
i might not have put my issues totally out there but trying to talk about them, still helped me a lot.
even when i was coy, and i still got responses, it gave me hope and for that am thankful to all of you here in blosgville.
now is the time to take a bow and leave when the ovation is loudest(20 COMMMENTS LOL)
my life as i know it has ended a new one is beginning. in this pause, i have nothing to blog about so i take my leave instead of not updating.
i might come back but as a different person, not as 'zara' anymore.
thank U for accepting zara into ur fold and for bidding her farewell with love and all the good things of life because i know you wish me nothing more than good health and fulfillment.
au revoir c'est n'est pas adieu, see you later my friends.
ZARA
i havent been here too long, just over year, but i have made wonderful aquaintances and been exposed to a whole new different world and am gratefull for that.
letting go was born at a time when i needed to air issues i ws going through. i started this blog as a way of talking about things that i couldnt speak of verbally.
i might not have put my issues totally out there but trying to talk about them, still helped me a lot.
even when i was coy, and i still got responses, it gave me hope and for that am thankful to all of you here in blosgville.
now is the time to take a bow and leave when the ovation is loudest(20 COMMMENTS LOL)
my life as i know it has ended a new one is beginning. in this pause, i have nothing to blog about so i take my leave instead of not updating.
i might come back but as a different person, not as 'zara' anymore.
thank U for accepting zara into ur fold and for bidding her farewell with love and all the good things of life because i know you wish me nothing more than good health and fulfillment.
au revoir c'est n'est pas adieu, see you later my friends.
ZARA
Friday, February 27, 2009
NO TITLES NEEDED!
HURRRAYYY!! Am the happiest person i know today.
I am a graduate! full fledged! The ceremony is in a few hours and am blogging right before i start getting ready, see how much i love blogsville? lol
I never thought this day would come, well not that i didnt, but not this fast. When ure at a certain stage in your life, you keep thinking something is far from you and its going to Take forever to get there, but i guess my own my own forever just became now.
I am excited not cos am graduating but also because i graduate with a high honours degree. YES I SAID IT! IN BLOGSVILLE, I SAID IT! lol!
My parents are also here for the grad so i guess its almost like a double celebration cos i never thought they would make it since my muM has this huge fear of flying(dont know the phobia name)but she braced herself and still came.. life just became even more beautiful!
ok i was feeling kind of bad yesterday because i wanted to win the award for the best student in the department(which only goes to the first best), i worked hard, played less, read more, but i didnt quite cut it, i came tantalizingly close, but someone else beat me to it. i was quite sad then i talked to my parents and i felt better cos they were proud of me no matter what.
And then am on my facebook and my horoscope for the day says(dont know if you guys believe in horoscopes but i kinda like to read them and see if they relate, this one so does!):
"Capricorn: Hard work doesn't always pay off in the way you'd like, but you can still be proud you did it!"
SEE??
what more can i say...
AM PROUD OF MYSELF!
I am a graduate! full fledged! The ceremony is in a few hours and am blogging right before i start getting ready, see how much i love blogsville? lol
I never thought this day would come, well not that i didnt, but not this fast. When ure at a certain stage in your life, you keep thinking something is far from you and its going to Take forever to get there, but i guess my own my own forever just became now.
I am excited not cos am graduating but also because i graduate with a high honours degree. YES I SAID IT! IN BLOGSVILLE, I SAID IT! lol!
My parents are also here for the grad so i guess its almost like a double celebration cos i never thought they would make it since my muM has this huge fear of flying(dont know the phobia name)but she braced herself and still came.. life just became even more beautiful!
ok i was feeling kind of bad yesterday because i wanted to win the award for the best student in the department(which only goes to the first best), i worked hard, played less, read more, but i didnt quite cut it, i came tantalizingly close, but someone else beat me to it. i was quite sad then i talked to my parents and i felt better cos they were proud of me no matter what.
And then am on my facebook and my horoscope for the day says(dont know if you guys believe in horoscopes but i kinda like to read them and see if they relate, this one so does!):
"Capricorn: Hard work doesn't always pay off in the way you'd like, but you can still be proud you did it!"
SEE??
what more can i say...
AM PROUD OF MYSELF!
Saturday, February 21, 2009
FRIDAY THE 13TH
LAST week was a Friday the 13Th.
Usually people get all hot and bothered(am assuming lol) when a 'Friday 13Th' rolls around.
I have been hearing the folklore/urban legend/myth for a while now but i didn't know what to make of it, considering nothing spectacular nor bad has ever happened to me on that date.
Ever heard of the Knights Templar?
Ever read the da vinci code? angels and demons?(they were prominent features in both books)
Apparently in the history of the catholic church, the Knights Templar were established to protect the church and they were given the Rule. They were basically like the military backbone of the roman catholic church and they fought during crusades.
Where is all this leading? I am trying to explain the origin of the Friday 13Th date as a bad omen/bad luck day.
During one of their crusades, the knights Templar lost out to the Saracens("After the rise of Islam, and especially at the time of the Crusades, its usage was extended to refer to all Muslims, including non-Arab Muslims, particularly those in Sicily and southern Italy.[2]
In Christian writing, the name was made to mean "those empty of Sarah" or "not from Sarah," as Arabs were, in Biblical genealogies, descended from Hagar")
These Saracens then offered 200 of the knights their lives back if they would abandon Christ and join Islam, but they all chose to kneel before the Muslims and have their head cut off instead.**
This occurred on FRIDAY 13TH, OCTOBER 1307. And till this day, Friday 13Th has continued to be regarded as bad luck, a day which portends evil.
Interesting little history right? I think so though.
Do i believe in the knight Templar? I don't know what to think but i kind of do.. to an extent.
Some historians want us to think they still exist, though in secrecy(they always existed in secrecy even in the middle ages when they were.)
I don't know, maybe if i ever did my own research, i just might find one..lol
** I mean no harm by that statement, i know in today's world, we have to be politically correct and all, but i just quoted that directly from a source and i couldn't change the wordings for fear of altering the author's original work.
*** I am a Muslim myself and hence wouldn't want to be looked upon in a certain way but i still have to stick with the facts don't I?
****Thank you.
SOURCES: WWW.WIKIPEDIA.ORG
BERRY, STEVE,THE TEMPLAR LEGACY,PG163-164,HODDER & STOUGHTON,2006.
Usually people get all hot and bothered(am assuming lol) when a 'Friday 13Th' rolls around.
I have been hearing the folklore/urban legend/myth for a while now but i didn't know what to make of it, considering nothing spectacular nor bad has ever happened to me on that date.
Ever heard of the Knights Templar?
Ever read the da vinci code? angels and demons?(they were prominent features in both books)
Apparently in the history of the catholic church, the Knights Templar were established to protect the church and they were given the Rule. They were basically like the military backbone of the roman catholic church and they fought during crusades.
Where is all this leading? I am trying to explain the origin of the Friday 13Th date as a bad omen/bad luck day.
During one of their crusades, the knights Templar lost out to the Saracens("After the rise of Islam, and especially at the time of the Crusades, its usage was extended to refer to all Muslims, including non-Arab Muslims, particularly those in Sicily and southern Italy.[2]
In Christian writing, the name was made to mean "those empty of Sarah" or "not from Sarah," as Arabs were, in Biblical genealogies, descended from Hagar")
These Saracens then offered 200 of the knights their lives back if they would abandon Christ and join Islam, but they all chose to kneel before the Muslims and have their head cut off instead.**
This occurred on FRIDAY 13TH, OCTOBER 1307. And till this day, Friday 13Th has continued to be regarded as bad luck, a day which portends evil.
Interesting little history right? I think so though.
Do i believe in the knight Templar? I don't know what to think but i kind of do.. to an extent.
Some historians want us to think they still exist, though in secrecy(they always existed in secrecy even in the middle ages when they were.)
I don't know, maybe if i ever did my own research, i just might find one..lol
** I mean no harm by that statement, i know in today's world, we have to be politically correct and all, but i just quoted that directly from a source and i couldn't change the wordings for fear of altering the author's original work.
*** I am a Muslim myself and hence wouldn't want to be looked upon in a certain way but i still have to stick with the facts don't I?
****Thank you.
SOURCES: WWW.WIKIPEDIA.ORG
BERRY, STEVE,THE TEMPLAR LEGACY,PG163-164,HODDER & STOUGHTON,2006.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
The valentine that was.
Contrary to my believe that my valentine wud be spent under covers with my novel and music playing in the background, it didnt quite happen like that.
surprise of all surprises, i got val-ed(is there a word like that??) lol
well anyways sha, this guy that has been acting all cosy around me lately val-ed me and told me that he truly, deeply, madly(am just exaggerating) likes me and would want to date me.
ha! this my own valentine na waoo!
it was quite out of the blue sha cos i wasnt expecting it, well not really i wasnt or maybe i chose to not acknowledge it cos i felt he knew am leaving finally in a few weeks and long distance is not an option so why want to date me?? really??
anyways i told him all my reasons for not wanting to date him and i think he got quite moody cos he left shortly after, well he'll get over it, not much i can do unless lead him on which is out of the question, sooo....
That's how my almost uneventful valentine went..lol.. still makes me laugh when i see his chocolates.. lol.. wen i saw them, i just remembered vera's post where she said she dint want to receive a box of chocolates and i totally agreed on how much i didnt like them, only for me to get them..how funny!
I need to know, what's up with guys NOT wanting to date a girl, or considering her below his 'level' but not MINDING having something to do with her?? huh?? whats up with that??
surprise of all surprises, i got val-ed(is there a word like that??) lol
well anyways sha, this guy that has been acting all cosy around me lately val-ed me and told me that he truly, deeply, madly(am just exaggerating) likes me and would want to date me.
ha! this my own valentine na waoo!
it was quite out of the blue sha cos i wasnt expecting it, well not really i wasnt or maybe i chose to not acknowledge it cos i felt he knew am leaving finally in a few weeks and long distance is not an option so why want to date me?? really??
anyways i told him all my reasons for not wanting to date him and i think he got quite moody cos he left shortly after, well he'll get over it, not much i can do unless lead him on which is out of the question, sooo....
That's how my almost uneventful valentine went..lol.. still makes me laugh when i see his chocolates.. lol.. wen i saw them, i just remembered vera's post where she said she dint want to receive a box of chocolates and i totally agreed on how much i didnt like them, only for me to get them..how funny!
I need to know, what's up with guys NOT wanting to date a girl, or considering her below his 'level' but not MINDING having something to do with her?? huh?? whats up with that??
Friday, February 13, 2009
These past few days...
hey guys!
I have been away for a while(short) trying to deal with the circus that was my life.. but thanks to ur good advices i have everything under control again and am ever so grateful. before my last post i was totallly confused, i wasnt sure what to do, so i had to put it out there and you all adviced me to put it out there, to talk to my friend, well i did and wow! if we all get such understanding, i guess the world wud be a better place to live in .. here is the email she sent me after the talk..
"thank you so much for all uve done to me...and are still doin i really appreciate it..and i am sooo glad to have u as a frnd..and like ive said before i can proudly call you my best frnd..no matter where...no matter when..nothin can change the fact that i really do cherish u( and love u with all my heart...yeh yeah i knw am being all mushy now)
but its true...no shame is showin u off and tellin alll them motherfuckers outta there ure MY BEST FRIEND.
u understand me, ur smart and offer advice, help wenevr i lean on u(which is almost alws)
and i wwant u to knw...id do anythin for u, and i mean anythn...dont care wat ppl say...i wud do it!
cuz u deserve evrybit of watevr it is i can offer....so thnk you so much...
lots of luv...xx
I made myself incommunicado to him like u all suggested and i think he's getting that u dont date one friend and try to date the other when ure done with one.
Since i have not been here.. i have gone through a few changes in my life... i became unemployed.. that means i GRADUATED!
haha
My friends are bored already hearing this from me, but i cant help it, am finally done with compulsory school, any that i do now is cos i want to! that feels just good!
Rihanna, Chris Brown, am in love with chris brown so am sure that says it all how i feel about the whole affair, it wasnt him(in the words of shaggy) lol...
Did yar'mama realli stop blogging or is she on hiatus??
Afrobabe loves to facebook more than blog nowadays, u better come back! lol
well lovely people of blogsville, the world's most famous holiday is tomorrow.. how do u plan on spending urs? mine would be spent lying under my covers reading a good novel and thinking about what could be..hehe.. have a lovely valentine's day celebration! am looking forward to all the blog posts i would read from it....am gettin my popcorn ready cos it wud be like being at the movies for me..lol!
I have been away for a while(short) trying to deal with the circus that was my life.. but thanks to ur good advices i have everything under control again and am ever so grateful. before my last post i was totallly confused, i wasnt sure what to do, so i had to put it out there and you all adviced me to put it out there, to talk to my friend, well i did and wow! if we all get such understanding, i guess the world wud be a better place to live in .. here is the email she sent me after the talk..
"thank you so much for all uve done to me...and are still doin i really appreciate it..and i am sooo glad to have u as a frnd..and like ive said before i can proudly call you my best frnd..no matter where...no matter when..nothin can change the fact that i really do cherish u( and love u with all my heart...yeh yeah i knw am being all mushy now)
but its true...no shame is showin u off and tellin alll them motherfuckers outta there ure MY BEST FRIEND.
u understand me, ur smart and offer advice, help wenevr i lean on u(which is almost alws)
and i wwant u to knw...id do anythin for u, and i mean anythn...dont care wat ppl say...i wud do it!
cuz u deserve evrybit of watevr it is i can offer....so thnk you so much...
lots of luv...xx
I made myself incommunicado to him like u all suggested and i think he's getting that u dont date one friend and try to date the other when ure done with one.
Since i have not been here.. i have gone through a few changes in my life... i became unemployed.. that means i GRADUATED!
haha
My friends are bored already hearing this from me, but i cant help it, am finally done with compulsory school, any that i do now is cos i want to! that feels just good!
Rihanna, Chris Brown, am in love with chris brown so am sure that says it all how i feel about the whole affair, it wasnt him(in the words of shaggy) lol...
Did yar'mama realli stop blogging or is she on hiatus??
Afrobabe loves to facebook more than blog nowadays, u better come back! lol
well lovely people of blogsville, the world's most famous holiday is tomorrow.. how do u plan on spending urs? mine would be spent lying under my covers reading a good novel and thinking about what could be..hehe.. have a lovely valentine's day celebration! am looking forward to all the blog posts i would read from it....am gettin my popcorn ready cos it wud be like being at the movies for me..lol!
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
DILEMMA
hi people!
how are u guys doing?
u guys sure are very good guessers..? lol(not sure if that's a proper word.)
well congrats to temite, buttercup, solly(solomonsydelle), vera ezimora(birthday mate!), bumight and enkay. u guessed correctly, and true to form the guys truly couldnt believe that i had my first kiss at 22, i had to be lying..lol..aloofar, dammy..lol!
ok enough of that,
am not a very happy person today. contrary to what my blog seems to signify, i am always happy but life gets to me sometimes and it has today.
my best friend's ex, who she isnt over, and wants back, says he has feelings for me. how much more complicated can life be?
i dont know if to tell her or i should just hope it goes away. i have told the guy nothing can happen between us, to him the fact that he dated my best friend doesnt matter one bit, and to me thats the whole of it. plus he doesnt know she still pines after him, and i dont know if i should hint at it to him just so he knows that its even more complicated than he thinks.
things are so crappy at the moment and i feel caught in between two of them.
just yesterday, i was chatting to both of them at the same time, in one chat box, he is telling me how he likes me and in the other, she is telling me, how she finds it hard to fancy other guys cos she's not over him, do you all see my dilemma?
please i need answers.. what can i do to make this go away fast, can i tell her what he's doing?
should i tell him she still likes me?
even all our friends do not know and i dont know if to tell them or not.
truth of the matter is, i DO NOT fancy him at all, apart from all the complications ma, how do i tell him that without a misunderstanding/us stop being friends?
help is needed, FAST!
how are u guys doing?
u guys sure are very good guessers..? lol(not sure if that's a proper word.)
well congrats to temite, buttercup, solly(solomonsydelle), vera ezimora(birthday mate!), bumight and enkay. u guessed correctly, and true to form the guys truly couldnt believe that i had my first kiss at 22, i had to be lying..lol..aloofar, dammy..lol!
ok enough of that,
am not a very happy person today. contrary to what my blog seems to signify, i am always happy but life gets to me sometimes and it has today.
my best friend's ex, who she isnt over, and wants back, says he has feelings for me. how much more complicated can life be?
i dont know if to tell her or i should just hope it goes away. i have told the guy nothing can happen between us, to him the fact that he dated my best friend doesnt matter one bit, and to me thats the whole of it. plus he doesnt know she still pines after him, and i dont know if i should hint at it to him just so he knows that its even more complicated than he thinks.
things are so crappy at the moment and i feel caught in between two of them.
just yesterday, i was chatting to both of them at the same time, in one chat box, he is telling me how he likes me and in the other, she is telling me, how she finds it hard to fancy other guys cos she's not over him, do you all see my dilemma?
please i need answers.. what can i do to make this go away fast, can i tell her what he's doing?
should i tell him she still likes me?
even all our friends do not know and i dont know if to tell them or not.
truth of the matter is, i DO NOT fancy him at all, apart from all the complications ma, how do i tell him that without a misunderstanding/us stop being friends?
help is needed, FAST!
Friday, January 30, 2009
truths and lies!
thanks to all those who commented on my last post, u realli gave me good advices and solomonsydelle raised a very important question that go me thinking. well the answer, solly(new short name hehe) is, i guess the friendship isnt at the point where i feel totally comfortable telling them everything(we have known eachother for about 1 year) and am not a very open person, so saying things like that is kind of hard for me. and yes all is well! thank you so much! i totally appreciate all of you guys!
well to the news of today, abi tag of today, got tagged by abujamaiden to do the 2 truths one lie thing.
here goes
1)I had my first kiss at 22.
2)this is my first and only blog
3)I love blog surfing.
most of you might not know me well enough to guess the answers to this but its just a guessing game after all, so guess away and the winner gets...... um.....lol....to ask me a very personal question which i would do my best to answer.
alright start guessing.
well to the news of today, abi tag of today, got tagged by abujamaiden to do the 2 truths one lie thing.
here goes
1)I had my first kiss at 22.
2)this is my first and only blog
3)I love blog surfing.
most of you might not know me well enough to guess the answers to this but its just a guessing game after all, so guess away and the winner gets...... um.....lol....to ask me a very personal question which i would do my best to answer.
alright start guessing.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Am I a bad person?
I have been having this discussion with my self for a while now and I still haven’t come to any conclusions. I am torn.
The thing is right, some certain people come to talk to me about my friends, about their bad character and how something they did annoyed them. And I try to tell them they aren’t like that and it was a one off and blah blah, but by their countenance I know they don’t believe me and just think that am trying to stick up for my friends. My dilemma here then is am I supposed to tell my friends these things or am I supposed to keep it to myself?
I usually say nothing and this eats me up inside because am not sure if am supposed to actually keep quiet. Am sure these people expect that I tell them but I think if I do indeed tell them, wouldn’t that be causing unnecessary fracas/bad blood? Also wouldn’t they(my friends) think I had said something to egg them on because how else would they be so comfortable knowing am friends with them to keep telling me these things??
It’s a dilemma that greatly troubles me.
AM about to write my final exams as an undergraduate, wish me luck!
The thing is right, some certain people come to talk to me about my friends, about their bad character and how something they did annoyed them. And I try to tell them they aren’t like that and it was a one off and blah blah, but by their countenance I know they don’t believe me and just think that am trying to stick up for my friends. My dilemma here then is am I supposed to tell my friends these things or am I supposed to keep it to myself?
I usually say nothing and this eats me up inside because am not sure if am supposed to actually keep quiet. Am sure these people expect that I tell them but I think if I do indeed tell them, wouldn’t that be causing unnecessary fracas/bad blood? Also wouldn’t they(my friends) think I had said something to egg them on because how else would they be so comfortable knowing am friends with them to keep telling me these things??
It’s a dilemma that greatly troubles me.
AM about to write my final exams as an undergraduate, wish me luck!
Monday, January 19, 2009
This saddens ME.
I was going through a newly discovered blog and reading up on its old post wen I saw a video talking about breast ironing.
This is a very old practice in Cameroon where a young girl's breasts are ironed at a tender age sometimes as early as 9 so that they become unattractive to men hence she doesn't become promiscuous and probably become a teenage mother!. word??!!
It didn't make sense to me and i went searching for literature about it, and apparently, its a very common practice in Cameroon where over 4 million of the female population have ironed breasts.
This ironing starts the moment their breasts begin to bud. their mothers take little flat and smooth stones, pestles,wooden spoons, basically anything that can convey and retain heat. this item is heated and then held against the young girls breast pressing it in a downward motion in the process destroying the ligature of the breasts and slackening the skin around it. this is done everyday for a period of about 2 months by which time the breasts would have unnaturally fallen and would most definitely have burn marks around it.
These girls grow up with a sense of insecurity and inferiority as they cannot undress in public.
I ask myself, why do these things happen and continue to happen? we say its to prevent promiscuity, whatever happened to sexual education? doesn't it take two anymore? why are the boys/men being exonerated?
Why is it that in the year 2009, we still talk about issues like this, first female genital mutilation, now breast ironing. next maybe we would be slashing off their noses and plucking out their eyes just so men aren't attracted and it doesn't cause em to have sex!
All this i feel is because the women, in an African society,have always been the underdog and still it continues, albeit in small ways in some places. baby steps, baby steps. because they are not on the same plane as men, they are blamed for everything. how else would you have me explain a culture that flattens a young girl's breasts so she doesn't attract men! why cant the men be told to keep off the young ones instead and wait till they become consenting adults?!
Nigeria..sigh!
our government.. sigh sigh!
the president.. sigh! sigh! sigh!
apparently the president's daughter is getting married to the bauchi state Governor as his.. wait for it.. 4Th wife! that's not the end, she's 24 while he's.... wait for it....47!
I got some mad statistics about the wedding today.
the dowry was paid in dollars, even though i don't believe the figure, i would still state it here for shock purposes, $250,000.
her wedding dress was being sewn for,(i don't believe this either.. )$60,000
about 80 boxes were taken to her parents.
a trailer load of cows were sent to her grandmother.
OK...... where is all this money coming from.. last time i checked... no one in Nigeria was earning in dollars....
what annoys me the most?? the economy is going down and no one seems to care about it, everyone seems to just be trying to gather as much as they can for themselves! disgusting!
this is quite reminiscent about the abacha days....
This is a very old practice in Cameroon where a young girl's breasts are ironed at a tender age sometimes as early as 9 so that they become unattractive to men hence she doesn't become promiscuous and probably become a teenage mother!. word??!!
It didn't make sense to me and i went searching for literature about it, and apparently, its a very common practice in Cameroon where over 4 million of the female population have ironed breasts.
This ironing starts the moment their breasts begin to bud. their mothers take little flat and smooth stones, pestles,wooden spoons, basically anything that can convey and retain heat. this item is heated and then held against the young girls breast pressing it in a downward motion in the process destroying the ligature of the breasts and slackening the skin around it. this is done everyday for a period of about 2 months by which time the breasts would have unnaturally fallen and would most definitely have burn marks around it.
These girls grow up with a sense of insecurity and inferiority as they cannot undress in public.
I ask myself, why do these things happen and continue to happen? we say its to prevent promiscuity, whatever happened to sexual education? doesn't it take two anymore? why are the boys/men being exonerated?
Why is it that in the year 2009, we still talk about issues like this, first female genital mutilation, now breast ironing. next maybe we would be slashing off their noses and plucking out their eyes just so men aren't attracted and it doesn't cause em to have sex!
All this i feel is because the women, in an African society,have always been the underdog and still it continues, albeit in small ways in some places. baby steps, baby steps. because they are not on the same plane as men, they are blamed for everything. how else would you have me explain a culture that flattens a young girl's breasts so she doesn't attract men! why cant the men be told to keep off the young ones instead and wait till they become consenting adults?!
Nigeria..sigh!
our government.. sigh sigh!
the president.. sigh! sigh! sigh!
apparently the president's daughter is getting married to the bauchi state Governor as his.. wait for it.. 4Th wife! that's not the end, she's 24 while he's.... wait for it....47!
I got some mad statistics about the wedding today.
the dowry was paid in dollars, even though i don't believe the figure, i would still state it here for shock purposes, $250,000.
her wedding dress was being sewn for,(i don't believe this either.. )$60,000
about 80 boxes were taken to her parents.
a trailer load of cows were sent to her grandmother.
OK...... where is all this money coming from.. last time i checked... no one in Nigeria was earning in dollars....
what annoys me the most?? the economy is going down and no one seems to care about it, everyone seems to just be trying to gather as much as they can for themselves! disgusting!
this is quite reminiscent about the abacha days....
Thursday, January 15, 2009
its my birthday and could cry if i want to!!
i actually had a post all written up, ready to be typed and posted here, but preceding events cant let me put it up here no more. am so happy today! a birthday is the day for the celebrant to feel joyful, fulfilled and loved and i totally feel all that and more here today! i feel so happy i could go around giving anyone who demanded one, a kiss! yes! that's how happy i am
today is my birthday! 22 years ago, at 8:00am on the 14Th of January 1987, a baby gal was born to the family of..... and that baby gal was named.,...me! i was born on a Wednesday, and today, my 22ND birthday,a Wednesday again, makes it extra special for me.
i woke up today with a good feeling, afterall its my birthday!since 12:00am my friends had been calling me and wishing me a very wonderful day! text messages from family and friends too!
and the most coveted, facebook messages and wall posts! yes! i had a record 99 wall posts in one day! amazing stuff!
i had to go to school though, i had two quizzes and i thank the lord they were quite easy. came back to my room and my friends(2 guys) come over, they wish me a happy birthday, we talk for a while then they leave. only to come back with a cake, chocolate and other goodies. i was shocked! i wasnt expecting it at all. we cut the cake, take pictures etc etc. a little while later, another group of friends call me up telling me to dress up and that they want to take me and my friends out. we dress up and are waiting while yet 2 other friends drop by to see me for my birthday bearing gifts! the gifts left melost for words and i was almost tearing. one of the gift is my facebook profile picture! hehe....
i went out for my surprise dinner at this new Chinese restaurant,it was only us there and we have so much fun!!!!
i had a lovely wonderful time and my friends are the most awesomest people!!!!(i dont care for english right about now!) i love them! love them! love them! since i cudnt get cake to you guys personally in blogsville, you shall partake of this heavenly cyber feast until i can give u the real thing.
happy birthday to me and many more fruitful years!.
greatest gift of all, i graduate in a month's time! God is faithful!
today is my birthday! 22 years ago, at 8:00am on the 14Th of January 1987, a baby gal was born to the family of..... and that baby gal was named.,...me! i was born on a Wednesday, and today, my 22ND birthday,a Wednesday again, makes it extra special for me.
i woke up today with a good feeling, afterall its my birthday!since 12:00am my friends had been calling me and wishing me a very wonderful day! text messages from family and friends too!
and the most coveted, facebook messages and wall posts! yes! i had a record 99 wall posts in one day! amazing stuff!
i had to go to school though, i had two quizzes and i thank the lord they were quite easy. came back to my room and my friends(2 guys) come over, they wish me a happy birthday, we talk for a while then they leave. only to come back with a cake, chocolate and other goodies. i was shocked! i wasnt expecting it at all. we cut the cake, take pictures etc etc. a little while later, another group of friends call me up telling me to dress up and that they want to take me and my friends out. we dress up and are waiting while yet 2 other friends drop by to see me for my birthday bearing gifts! the gifts left melost for words and i was almost tearing. one of the gift is my facebook profile picture! hehe....
i went out for my surprise dinner at this new Chinese restaurant,it was only us there and we have so much fun!!!!
i had a lovely wonderful time and my friends are the most awesomest people!!!!(i dont care for english right about now!) i love them! love them! love them! since i cudnt get cake to you guys personally in blogsville, you shall partake of this heavenly cyber feast until i can give u the real thing.
happy birthday to me and many more fruitful years!.
greatest gift of all, i graduate in a month's time! God is faithful!
Saturday, January 3, 2009
back and refreshed!! its a new year! keeps getting better!
It’s a new year... wishing u a happy new year would be a bit cliché and belated but I still would. HAPPY NEW YEAR PEOPLE!
Hope you all had a fun and blessed holiday. Mine was great. My trip? AWESOME. I needed the time away and my sister’s wedding was great. Thought I would shed a few, but at the end of the day, I was too tired all I could think of was sleep!
Thanks to all who dropped a comment on my last post, believe me at that point in my life, I felt that all was lost and I had come to the end of the road, but now am a much better and braver person. I forgave myself and that’s it. Am happier and nothing daunts me anymore. Thanks again for all the support.
Chari… thanx for Ur msg meant a lot.
The wedding…. Dreamy. The most beautiful aspect?? The gown..
Lovely don’t u think?
It’s a new year; most people have resolutions, am done doing those cos I never stick to them anyways. I just hope to be a better person; I always strive to get to that next level of good.
And also, since my sis is now married, am the next in line and my mum thinks by 2010 I shud be married! Wishful thinking I call it, but just so its out there and its not like I didn’t make an effort, guys shud start sending in applications, seeing as I have not a bf and all the ones in my last 2 posts,here, I have decided to leave em be, I don’t do drama!..Well, not anymore! Hehee
Hope you all had a fun and blessed holiday. Mine was great. My trip? AWESOME. I needed the time away and my sister’s wedding was great. Thought I would shed a few, but at the end of the day, I was too tired all I could think of was sleep!
Thanks to all who dropped a comment on my last post, believe me at that point in my life, I felt that all was lost and I had come to the end of the road, but now am a much better and braver person. I forgave myself and that’s it. Am happier and nothing daunts me anymore. Thanks again for all the support.
Chari… thanx for Ur msg meant a lot.
The wedding…. Dreamy. The most beautiful aspect?? The gown..
Lovely don’t u think?
It’s a new year; most people have resolutions, am done doing those cos I never stick to them anyways. I just hope to be a better person; I always strive to get to that next level of good.
And also, since my sis is now married, am the next in line and my mum thinks by 2010 I shud be married! Wishful thinking I call it, but just so its out there and its not like I didn’t make an effort, guys shud start sending in applications, seeing as I have not a bf and all the ones in my last 2 posts,here, I have decided to leave em be, I don’t do drama!..Well, not anymore! Hehee
Sunday, December 21, 2008
THIS WORRY IS MINE.
I MESSED UP i did something, i have never done and shouldn't have done. i have been beating myself up about it for the past 3 days but nothing is changing because i cant change time nor reverse it.
i made mistakes, but i cant turn back time. i can only hope to forgive myself. i feel filthy,unworthy of anything good.
i keep wondering what i could have done differently, i don't know, i shouldn't have gone out, i shouldn't have had that drink, i shouldn't have gone to bed, i shouldn't have.. lots of things i shouldn't have done, now i have done them and am stuck in this mind of mine which refuses to give up thinking and beating heart which refuses to stop beating so i could peacefully forget about it for eternity.
why cant i get hit by a truck and get amnesia? why cant i be one of those people who don't care? why cant i forgive myself?
why? why? why?
i feel anger, hatred and pity for myself all at one. am a mess of emotions and there's no hope of sorting through them and getting rid of some, i wish it was as easy as that.
i need saving from myself. am near depression, therapy is what i need, when does this day when i would get over this come? cant u come soon enough??
thank God am going to Nigeria, i need to clear my head, get away from all these forces pulling me in all directions. i need time to myself to heal, to become stronger, to forgive myself, to gain some new composure cos the old one is shattered,
i am going to be away for 2 weeks, my sister's wedding and am going on a journey of self discovery. i need to think, worry, cos this worry is mine.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
why am i so confused?
hi lovely people! am confused!
or rather.. am greedy.
i have a dilemma.. not really, am just creating one for my self.
there are four guys in my life right now.
their names are... cute,cool,handsome and fun!
cute and fun are in my school and i hang out with them sometimes. i had a crush on cute sometime five weeks ago only to find out that he has liked me eversince we became friends.. cool info right? i thot so at first then, i stopped liking him(typical of me, i dont like people for long..disturbing!)
instead, i started crushing fun who is baggage impersonified. he also claims to have had a crush on me forever but was just too chicken to tell me(right!).
these are the ones within my radar, then there is cool and handsome.
i have known cool for a while, handsome i just met this summer and we flirted albeit mildly.
cool is just like his name, u never know what he's thinking, he's the guy who stopped talking to me when he found out i was dating my ex, and started talking to me after we broke up. i have had confirmation that he is into me, but i dont see it. he texts me(cos he;s not in the same place as i am) and all that, but he's irregular and i love being pampered, made to feel like am all in ur mind and all that(i know dont all girls?!-sigh-), but he doesnt give me that, so i stray away from him sometimes and then handsome!
oh handsome! met him this summer, he's cocky, arrogant and i like him! i usually dont like his type but there is something about him that's got me going... i added him on facebook and we start messaging eachother and we chat, everytime i chat with him, i come away with butterflies in my tummy and ... arent i too old for that?? i gues snot..hehe.. and i like the feeling.. but his facebook status says in a relationship but i have learned not to believe such things(all these facebook amebo am doing! GOD!) but i dont want to get into any body's way ooo... hmmm... well.. as it is right now, i don want one of them, i wan all of them, if i can have em,, arent i being just very greedy! -sigh- how do i stop?
or rather.. am greedy.
i have a dilemma.. not really, am just creating one for my self.
there are four guys in my life right now.
their names are... cute,cool,handsome and fun!
cute and fun are in my school and i hang out with them sometimes. i had a crush on cute sometime five weeks ago only to find out that he has liked me eversince we became friends.. cool info right? i thot so at first then, i stopped liking him(typical of me, i dont like people for long..disturbing!)
instead, i started crushing fun who is baggage impersonified. he also claims to have had a crush on me forever but was just too chicken to tell me(right!).
these are the ones within my radar, then there is cool and handsome.
i have known cool for a while, handsome i just met this summer and we flirted albeit mildly.
cool is just like his name, u never know what he's thinking, he's the guy who stopped talking to me when he found out i was dating my ex, and started talking to me after we broke up. i have had confirmation that he is into me, but i dont see it. he texts me(cos he;s not in the same place as i am) and all that, but he's irregular and i love being pampered, made to feel like am all in ur mind and all that(i know dont all girls?!-sigh-), but he doesnt give me that, so i stray away from him sometimes and then handsome!
oh handsome! met him this summer, he's cocky, arrogant and i like him! i usually dont like his type but there is something about him that's got me going... i added him on facebook and we start messaging eachother and we chat, everytime i chat with him, i come away with butterflies in my tummy and ... arent i too old for that?? i gues snot..hehe.. and i like the feeling.. but his facebook status says in a relationship but i have learned not to believe such things(all these facebook amebo am doing! GOD!) but i dont want to get into any body's way ooo... hmmm... well.. as it is right now, i don want one of them, i wan all of them, if i can have em,, arent i being just very greedy! -sigh- how do i stop?
Thursday, December 11, 2008
the MISTRESS and HER.
People and things never cease to amaze me, the moment i think i am beyond shock, something comes along to shock me ,again, and again, and again.
last night, a friend was having a house party, we are all bored cos school is out for a week, so we hit her place, having fun, grooving.(lol)
there/s this guy who i have know for quite a while now, infact they are a group of friends nd we hang out a lot. there's this girl he's been chasing wanting to sleep with her(for what reason, i dont know). the chase has been on for maybe a semester now, i think he eventually did though and he has a girlfriend(they say they have broken up, but subsequent events made me think otherwise)
we are at this house party, and he's dancing with the girl(the one he was chasing, lets call her the mistress) and his girl comes along(let's call her,HER). HER asks the MISTRESS to move along cos she wanted to dance with her man, and she refuses, i think it degenerated into a shouting match/insulting match and HER walks away, leaving for home. HER's boyfriend(supposed) comes out and tries to talk to HER. she ignores him and keeps on walking, his friend calls her and she heeds and comes back, he starts telling her...God knows what,- i was quite a distance away,- albeit unknowingly to anyone, the MISTRESS had come out and she came up to HER and continued the insults, then lo! and behold! she strikes HER! palm open!. what a shock??! i turn around and HER is scremaing and shouting and crying and everyone is trying to hold HEr back from fighting and she says:
" ..........(insert boy's name) because of u, because of u, she slapped me, OH! God! i hate u! i hate u!"
he's trying to beg Her and the MISTRESS is all the way on the other side getting a piece of everyone's mind, his friends are angry at her, HER's friends' want to go and fight her, its chaos. i manage to calm most people down and HER and her boyfriend go home to sort out their mess, and the mistress is left in the cold.
now everyone is saying how much HER didn't deserve it, How the want to beat up the MISTRESS, how shit is fcuked up! everyone just seems hell bent on blaming the MISTRESS.
my prognosis
i blame the boy. HEr probably had no idea he was sleeping with someonelse,or she did and she turned a blind eye towards it. the mistress knew he was dating someonelse, but she wanted a piece of it and she took it.
we are greedy people, we like to eat our cake and have it(boyfy and mistress) but what makes us humane is if we consider how it would hurt other people, especially those we care about. obviously boyfy didnt think too long about how HEr would feel, and mistress didnt think bout it at all, cos sometimes, it plays out that a mistress could become the housewife. who knows? it might become so for her!
i always preach faithfulness, but people think am over righteous. this is the result of not being faithful. some people are proper players but then others arent but every young man wants to be one, it usually ends up in chaotic situations.
the girls that stay with them, i dont want to be too hard, but what makes em stay? i wont take love as an excuse, because i have never heard of anyone dying of a broken heart. the heart is elastic, it mends, no matter how far it is stretched, if a guy doesnt treat you the way u think u deserve to be treated, dump him. what doesnt kill you, can never kill you.(lol).
now, i wonder whats going to happen to the lot of them, its a sad story considering all the players are below 22!
last night, a friend was having a house party, we are all bored cos school is out for a week, so we hit her place, having fun, grooving.(lol)
there/s this guy who i have know for quite a while now, infact they are a group of friends nd we hang out a lot. there's this girl he's been chasing wanting to sleep with her(for what reason, i dont know). the chase has been on for maybe a semester now, i think he eventually did though and he has a girlfriend(they say they have broken up, but subsequent events made me think otherwise)
we are at this house party, and he's dancing with the girl(the one he was chasing, lets call her the mistress) and his girl comes along(let's call her,HER). HER asks the MISTRESS to move along cos she wanted to dance with her man, and she refuses, i think it degenerated into a shouting match/insulting match and HER walks away, leaving for home. HER's boyfriend(supposed) comes out and tries to talk to HER. she ignores him and keeps on walking, his friend calls her and she heeds and comes back, he starts telling her...God knows what,- i was quite a distance away,- albeit unknowingly to anyone, the MISTRESS had come out and she came up to HER and continued the insults, then lo! and behold! she strikes HER! palm open!. what a shock??! i turn around and HER is scremaing and shouting and crying and everyone is trying to hold HEr back from fighting and she says:
" ..........(insert boy's name) because of u, because of u, she slapped me, OH! God! i hate u! i hate u!"
he's trying to beg Her and the MISTRESS is all the way on the other side getting a piece of everyone's mind, his friends are angry at her, HER's friends' want to go and fight her, its chaos. i manage to calm most people down and HER and her boyfriend go home to sort out their mess, and the mistress is left in the cold.
now everyone is saying how much HER didn't deserve it, How the want to beat up the MISTRESS, how shit is fcuked up! everyone just seems hell bent on blaming the MISTRESS.
my prognosis
i blame the boy. HEr probably had no idea he was sleeping with someonelse,or she did and she turned a blind eye towards it. the mistress knew he was dating someonelse, but she wanted a piece of it and she took it.
we are greedy people, we like to eat our cake and have it(boyfy and mistress) but what makes us humane is if we consider how it would hurt other people, especially those we care about. obviously boyfy didnt think too long about how HEr would feel, and mistress didnt think bout it at all, cos sometimes, it plays out that a mistress could become the housewife. who knows? it might become so for her!
i always preach faithfulness, but people think am over righteous. this is the result of not being faithful. some people are proper players but then others arent but every young man wants to be one, it usually ends up in chaotic situations.
the girls that stay with them, i dont want to be too hard, but what makes em stay? i wont take love as an excuse, because i have never heard of anyone dying of a broken heart. the heart is elastic, it mends, no matter how far it is stretched, if a guy doesnt treat you the way u think u deserve to be treated, dump him. what doesnt kill you, can never kill you.(lol).
now, i wonder whats going to happen to the lot of them, its a sad story considering all the players are below 22!
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
1month don waka...sorry!
Wow! Was that a month or close to being one? Am soo sorry… my internet was on the blink... I noticed something... less people come to my blog and even less leave comments… does this mean am not interesting anymore?? Well I know... I have become too politically correct, from this moment on, am going back to what I know. Yeah... talking about what really happens in m life not blocking it out and writing about general affairs..!
Right, in the last 3 weeks or more, lots of things have been happening in my life… issues mehn!
I finally confronted my ex-lover(ha-ha) about his malicious( or my presupposed ) treatment of me, he denied saying he didn’t know he was acting different and that he was sorry if he was.. Well now he treats me better lets say... moving on… something amazing happened... ok I have never blogged about this guy before, he was in my life for about 3 years then disappeared without no trace, now he’s back. We never dated but it was obvious he liked me, we flirt on and off, then he disappears off my radar, my texts go unanswered, I call his phone, it never goes thru, he no longer comes on msn, he goes off face book and my emails go unanswered, total block!. I say oh well, I move after all I wasn’t into him that much plus not that I had a fight with him, he just disappeared, then he becomes friends with my recent ex(that’s before I begin to date him)and when he found out we were dating, he says he never thought we fit and well he hopes it all goes well for us, I find it weird that he never asks for me, then we break up and now this guy is back, calling me, texting me, emailing me, chatting like nothing ever happened and now he seriously wants to see me, do u think what am thinking? Lol.
My sister is getting married in December, am so excited I can’t wait for December; it’s going to be a Christmas wedding... oohhh sweet! But! Yes but, have u ever had a situation where people just wouldn’t let good things happen to you/ they always have to look for a way to ruin it? Well that’s what’s been happening to her for more than a month now... and these people are none other than family! Yes family! Not immediate but extended... its weird how you think family which is supposed to have
am in my final year, I have decided that I have been a good girl too long! I mean 21 and never been kissed? Mighty weird! I think… especially in the world of today... well I have decided to take a foray into the wild side... nothing too much, just a fling and then I graduate... easy right? No strings attached, no emotions, just hang out, make out and generally have a good time… I have my eye on someone... and it’s not the guy that came back recently into my life, he’s too far away (
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
WHAT MORE CAN I SAY?
What more can i say?
At this point where all we can do is celebrate, shed tears of joy(some), dance a jig, holler to anyone who wants to hear(or doesnt) that history has been made.
As we usher in the 44th president of the united states of america,(the world), i like to say that the first hurdle has only been crossed, we have to see if he survives the months preceeding the handover, if he actually does a good job in reviving the economy and if the wars are ended with no victor and no vanquished!
But before all these take place, we still rejoice, throw parties, and enjoy this camaraderie that has enveloped the whole world.
I hope this support continues and that obama does indeed fulfill all the promises he made to the american people.
history has been made and am proud to be part of it!.
I am African, I amNigerian, I am zara, I believe in Obama and his policies, I celebrate this day with his family, I pray the soul of grandmother rests in peace.
Long live Nigeria, Long live Africa, Long live Barack Obama, Long live the state of America.
God bless us all!
I couldnt be prouder.
At this point where all we can do is celebrate, shed tears of joy(some), dance a jig, holler to anyone who wants to hear(or doesnt) that history has been made.
As we usher in the 44th president of the united states of america,(the world), i like to say that the first hurdle has only been crossed, we have to see if he survives the months preceeding the handover, if he actually does a good job in reviving the economy and if the wars are ended with no victor and no vanquished!
But before all these take place, we still rejoice, throw parties, and enjoy this camaraderie that has enveloped the whole world.
I hope this support continues and that obama does indeed fulfill all the promises he made to the american people.
history has been made and am proud to be part of it!.
I am African, I amNigerian, I am zara, I believe in Obama and his policies, I celebrate this day with his family, I pray the soul of grandmother rests in peace.
Long live Nigeria, Long live Africa, Long live Barack Obama, Long live the state of America.
God bless us all!
I couldnt be prouder.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
This type of government!
I am an ardent reader of the online news website pointblanknews.com.. dont know how many of us actually read it but it has unbiased news(i think) and it always has details you dont find in the print newspapers.
i had recently heard of the closure of channels news network and i was wondering what manner or 'democratic' government would close down a tv station. i went on the net(my only source of information) to find out the reason why... well apparently, channels broadcasted on september the 16th that president umaru musa yar'adua intended to resign.. that being untrue made sss to swoop on their station forcefully close it down and drag their staff away to detention.. all these after channels had apologised for its mistake and retracted the story.
(who can blame them, with his health, one would think that that would have been the wiser choice!)
hot on the heels of that is the arrest of johnathan elendu, the publisher of another online newspaper, elendureports.com. he was arrested as he went into nnamdi azikiwe airport in abuja.
and they(sss) are currently seeking the publishers of pointblanknews.com and saharareporters.com.
hmmm, if this had been happening in 1994-1995 i would have had a perfect explanation and i wouldnt even dare blog about it for fear of being tagged an opposition, but in this democratic era, who knew that we would still fancy the ways of old? take a stroll through the stone age? try to force people to our way of thinking? its soo amazing i dont even want to believe it..
when baba was in power, i sometimes cringed at the manner of insults that were hauled at him on daily basis, his daily comparisons, all the jokes that centered on first his looks and then his style of government, the slurs about his personal life, he took it in his stride, did his time and left. i mean yar'adua only has one nickname ....yet! what is he being all hot and bothered for? abi the directives are not from him? can anyone truly convince me of that?
other news, efcc has lost the case files against, obasanjo, ibori, odili, igbenedion,fayose etc etc... so now, they officially have no case to answer as it would be near impossible to prosecute them without evidence.
i have no comments on this one whatsoever, and i thought we were actually making headway in our fight against corruption...tsk tsk!
AT least when ribadu was there, we got a large number of prosecutions and wins and it actually gave us hope no matter how much some thought he was a government machinery to haunt those that stopped being loyal to baba.
Bring back ribadu, conduct fresh elections, change the constitution, bring in the young and out with the old, lets inject youth into the government and lets watch nigeria take its pride of place amongst the other countries of the world, most importantly, let people enjoy their rights, Freedom of Speech! anyone?
i had recently heard of the closure of channels news network and i was wondering what manner or 'democratic' government would close down a tv station. i went on the net(my only source of information) to find out the reason why... well apparently, channels broadcasted on september the 16th that president umaru musa yar'adua intended to resign.. that being untrue made sss to swoop on their station forcefully close it down and drag their staff away to detention.. all these after channels had apologised for its mistake and retracted the story.
(who can blame them, with his health, one would think that that would have been the wiser choice!)
hot on the heels of that is the arrest of johnathan elendu, the publisher of another online newspaper, elendureports.com. he was arrested as he went into nnamdi azikiwe airport in abuja.
and they(sss) are currently seeking the publishers of pointblanknews.com and saharareporters.com.
hmmm, if this had been happening in 1994-1995 i would have had a perfect explanation and i wouldnt even dare blog about it for fear of being tagged an opposition, but in this democratic era, who knew that we would still fancy the ways of old? take a stroll through the stone age? try to force people to our way of thinking? its soo amazing i dont even want to believe it..
when baba was in power, i sometimes cringed at the manner of insults that were hauled at him on daily basis, his daily comparisons, all the jokes that centered on first his looks and then his style of government, the slurs about his personal life, he took it in his stride, did his time and left. i mean yar'adua only has one nickname ....yet! what is he being all hot and bothered for? abi the directives are not from him? can anyone truly convince me of that?
other news, efcc has lost the case files against, obasanjo, ibori, odili, igbenedion,fayose etc etc... so now, they officially have no case to answer as it would be near impossible to prosecute them without evidence.
i have no comments on this one whatsoever, and i thought we were actually making headway in our fight against corruption...tsk tsk!
AT least when ribadu was there, we got a large number of prosecutions and wins and it actually gave us hope no matter how much some thought he was a government machinery to haunt those that stopped being loyal to baba.
Bring back ribadu, conduct fresh elections, change the constitution, bring in the young and out with the old, lets inject youth into the government and lets watch nigeria take its pride of place amongst the other countries of the world, most importantly, let people enjoy their rights, Freedom of Speech! anyone?
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
i need to.....ARGGGGHHH!!
God!! when will i ever learn??.. ok before i start ranting.. i need to apologize for my 2 weeks leave or something... i dont know who even signed the papers authorizing the leave.. i guess i had the signature forged..hehe.. ok... ..last post was about breaking up with my friend cum boyfriend cum friend right??
well i did it. told him nicely i thought the dynamics of the relationship worked better in a friendship state than anything else and i wud like to redefine the whole thing and take us 3 months back. he was cool about the whole thing, still calling me and all that.. we even hung out(with others of course) and then suddenly he's taking the piss!
dude is acting like a 3 year old.. talking to me anyhow.. doing all that thrash talking boys like to do(no offense to guys), being the first one to diss me, and all that bull crap!
am so pissed right now, am not even going to mind my language! dude is straight out of his mind!
i cant even believe that for a quarter of a second i thot he was grown and matured.. like for God sakes ure friggin22!! grow up already!
i have let other guys down and they didnt resort to that.. u might as well take a gun and put it to my head! issh!
never been so angry in a long time.. and i dont even need this right now.. its taking up valuable space in my head.. i should be bothered about other stuff not dumbos!!
well i did it. told him nicely i thought the dynamics of the relationship worked better in a friendship state than anything else and i wud like to redefine the whole thing and take us 3 months back. he was cool about the whole thing, still calling me and all that.. we even hung out(with others of course) and then suddenly he's taking the piss!
dude is acting like a 3 year old.. talking to me anyhow.. doing all that thrash talking boys like to do(no offense to guys), being the first one to diss me, and all that bull crap!
am so pissed right now, am not even going to mind my language! dude is straight out of his mind!
i cant even believe that for a quarter of a second i thot he was grown and matured.. like for God sakes ure friggin22!! grow up already!
i have let other guys down and they didnt resort to that.. u might as well take a gun and put it to my head! issh!
never been so angry in a long time.. and i dont even need this right now.. its taking up valuable space in my head.. i should be bothered about other stuff not dumbos!!
Friday, September 26, 2008
I should have known better!
i should have known better that i wasnt ready for this.
i should have known that this just wasnt me
i should have given myself time to know if this was truly what i wanted instead of allowing myself to be swept up in the moment.. now i regret.. i hate regretting.. but now i do... eventhough its a little.. i still do.
i let myself do what i have always been against... i dated a friend.
now i dont want to no more and i dont even know how to go about it..
after a month i started getting cold feet but i thought i could do it, so i ploughed on believing that it would get better with time and the feelings would dissipate and i would go back to liking him.. how was i to know that it was a crush and a crush it shall remain.. now that the crush is gone, what do i do?
if it was someone i was just acquaintances with, i could just tell him what i felt and it would be over, nothing do me.. but a friend? i keep considering his feelings and i dont know how to say anything and not sound selfish, unfeeling, wicked,hardhearted and all the cold words!
wahala part 2!
i should have known that this just wasnt me
i should have given myself time to know if this was truly what i wanted instead of allowing myself to be swept up in the moment.. now i regret.. i hate regretting.. but now i do... eventhough its a little.. i still do.
i let myself do what i have always been against... i dated a friend.
now i dont want to no more and i dont even know how to go about it..
after a month i started getting cold feet but i thought i could do it, so i ploughed on believing that it would get better with time and the feelings would dissipate and i would go back to liking him.. how was i to know that it was a crush and a crush it shall remain.. now that the crush is gone, what do i do?
if it was someone i was just acquaintances with, i could just tell him what i felt and it would be over, nothing do me.. but a friend? i keep considering his feelings and i dont know how to say anything and not sound selfish, unfeeling, wicked,hardhearted and all the cold words!
wahala part 2!
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